we'Re back to squaRe one...

just when i thought life was getting betteR...

and now the whole family's depending on mom's miseRable income fRom heR paRt time job...

2 adult.. 2 undeRgRaduates... 1 pRimaRy 6... and education is getting expensive...

i'm glad i took up anotheR tuition assignment... at least i could pay foR my own tRanspoRt fee of 100 bucks each month.. pay foR my own food expenses... pay foR my phone bill... no moRe spaRe money foR otheR leisuRe stuff... my dReam of paying my education fees once i gRaduate is smashed... i should staRt woRRying oveR how to pay foR the 20% of the tuition fees of 1000 bucks... i'm glad i have been quite thRifty.. at least i still have some savings to depend on.. and to play a paRt in keeping the family going...

i'm glad my sis is in heR last sem.. at least she's on attachment now and eaRning income.. miseRable as it may be... at least she'll be paying foR heR own expenses... i'll be paying foR mine...

now.. my bRotheR is the woRRying one... he doesn't know the gRaveness of this financial difficulties.. that we may not even have money to eat soon.. and he's still spending away... playing and fooling aRound.. not willing to put in any effoRt foR his upcoming PSLE... still.. we have to find a way to pay foR his tuition fees of 135bucks peR month...

my fatheR was dismissed by his company... giving no Reason... given only one pathetic month's pay foR compensation... IDIOTIC SBS TRANSIT. to think i've been taking SBS foR my whole life.. okay... that's quite iRRelevant... but okay... THEY SUX. i'm going to complain... going to let the whole woRld know how IMBECILE they aRe!!!!!! IMBECILE PACHYDERM. i just wRote an email to mR. mah bow tan, MP of tampines GRC... hopefully i'll see justice being done.

my dad is now tRying to get a taxi license.. but that means he got to go foR lessons and get the dRiving license class 3... and that means moRe money output foR couRses befoRe he gets the license... and that doesn't mean he'll get the job eitheR... oh well.. hopefully it'll be like what deaR says.. a blessing in disguise... peRhaps he'll eaRn much moRe being a taxi dRiveR... peRhaps he'll be moRe happy...

my fatheR is a quiet man... he keeps things to himself.. sometimes telling motheR... sometimes just indulging in smoking to tRy and Rid his tRoubles... all these yeaRs.. he woRked silently... woRking haRd to eaRn money... woRking haRd to give the family a betteR life... i neveR talk to my dad in the past... but now i do... and thRough haRdships... we build stRongeR kinship...

i've always taken life foR gRanted... and now i know it's not... 15 yeaRs of loyalty doesn't eaRn one any cRedit... it just gives them moRe Reason to get Rid of you... life Really isn't a bed of Roses... when life becomes Really bad... i feel like giving up... when this happens.. i tuRn to my mum...

she's a gReat philosopheR... she spuRs me on... many times when i felt like giving up in my education, she'll encouRage me on... even when i had to see the pRincipal in ngee ann foR playing tRuant... even when i had to meet the pRincipal in TJ foR extRemely bad Results.. she didn't give up on me.. when i did badly in A levels with Ds on my ceRt, she didn't scold me... i was a bad giRl.. she's a good motheR...

when things tuRn Really bad in the family.. she dun blame anyone.. she cRies in silence.. wiping away heR teaRs fRantically when we saw heR cRying... on the suRface she keeps telling us.. eveRything will be alRight... life isn't as bad as befoRe.. it was woRse befoRe.. we'll do fine... but i know she's as woRRied as us... and even moRe...

i have a gReat fatheR... i have a gReat motheR...

I love you daddy... I love you mummy...

i do.