deaR diaRy,

i woke at at 720am today, feeling all neRvous and scaRed..

my mom accompanied me to NDC(National Dental CentRe).. Reached theRe bout 910am... met michael joo(ex DHL colleague), he was theRe with his wife.. what a small woRld..

RegisteRed at the counteR.. and waited foR the nuRse to call me.. i was veRy neRvous at that point... the nuRse called at 940am.. i went in to put on cap to coveR haiR, shoes and also the opeRation gown.. waited again till bout 1030am then the doc came... asked my mom in to sign the consent foRm cos i was below 21.. the doc waRned my mom bout the peRmanent numbness.. when my mom said if Really kena then will sue him, he didn't want to peRfoRm the suRgeRy le.. ha... in the end still did lah..

suRpRisingly, afteR i woRe the gown, i didn't felt neRvous anymoRe.. it felt as if i was on anotheR attachment.. and that i was theRe to obseRve.. in fact, i had a feeling of anticipation!! ha..

i went into the opeRating theatRe at 1035am and was quite disappointed by the sight... i thought it would be Really like otheR OT with a flat bed and lots of suRgical equipment... but what i saw was a noRmal dental chaiR as i would see in any dental clinic.. except that theRe wasn't a sink by the side.. the OT was quite empty la..

the doc came in and took this extRa laRge needle... Really.. i think it's bout 20cm long... gosh... such a big needle... luckily i'm not scaRed of needles... i alReady expect that the needle injection would be the most painful one.. just like blood donation.. so yah.. i was fine with the needle... i think he injected 2 needles into my gum... quite painful lah.. but still can beaR with it... then afteR some time, the anaesthesia sets in and my left side of the mouth and tongue tuRned numb...

they left me alone foR some time, pResumbly to let the anaesthesia take effect.. anotheR lady came to help me get Ready foR opeRation.. used some stuff to clean my face then my mouth.. coveRed up my eyes with cloth(she says the light is too bRight).. told me how to call foR help in the middle of opeRation.. i.e. say ahhhh... or wave my hand.. haha.. ask me to think of something else.. say will feel a bit of pRessuRe but not pain.. will have lots of noise... ask me to think of something else..

and then the doc came back.. asked me wheRe i'm studying and what... and then he staRted..

i wasn't that neRvous anymoRe.. and in fact i was disappointed i couldn't get to see what instuments they aRe using..

i only feel dRilling... the instRu was so close to my face and the noise was so loud... the doc almost Rested his hand on my face and used his whole foRce to dig out the teeth.. haha..

i tRied singing a CO song in my mind to keep me distRacted... songs that came to my mind was long2 de4 chuan2 qi2 and long2 teng2 hu3 yue4.. i also dunno why.. ha.. but i decided not to use those songs cos they'Re too "violent".. haha.. the next song then came to mind was ripe gRapes... i sing in my bRain halfway then foRgot how it was supposed to be.. ha.. then ended up tRying to sing david tao's 爱很简单.. but also gave up halfway lah.. cos i was moRe inteRested in what was going on in my mouth.. ha..

i felt a stRing bRushing against my cheeks.. i thought they weRe going to tie the uppeR tooth and tie to dooR and slam the dooR... haha... i didn't feel them woRking on my uppeR tooth at all... loweR tooth they weRe dRilling and digging veRy haRd... quite Rough i must say... so scaRed they'll damage my neRves..

then befoRe i knew it, it's oveR.. i was shocked.. so i asked, "both tooth out? so fast?" haha.. they gave me the bloody tooth.. one in tact(uppeR one), the otheR cut into half(loweR one).. came out at 1120am...

the whole Region numbness spRead till neaR my eye.. but gRadually weaR off afteR few houRs..

i was given LOTS of medicine.. 1 bottle of mouth Rinse.. 1 pain killeR, 1 antacid(cos the pain killeR will cause gastRic pRob), 1 antibiotics, 1 to Reduce swelling.. all big pills that have to be swallowed!! ppl who know me well knows i cannot swallow medicine.. i RaRely take medicine.. if i do, i ask foR liquid medication.. if not, i'll disolve and cRush the medicine befoRe eating it.. if i tRy to swallow, i'll vomit eveRything out.. aRgh.. dunno how to suRvive whole couRse of medicine..

i haven't eaten anything afteR the op.. uh.. ok lah.. ate 2 stRands of kuay teow when i Reached home so i could eat medicine.. i ate until want to cRy... i couldn't feel anything in my mouth at all.. all numb.. couldn't contRol.. mouth can neitheR open noR close.. ha.. and food keeps dRopping out.. cannot bite.. only swallow.. i fed up.. then just took the medicine and swallow... aRgh... damn hungRy now.. =( and my lips aRe too dRy that they keep cRacking...

the pain is bad enough... and my wound keeps bleeding pRofusely... aRgh.. i think i may faint anytime.. ha.. i used a toRch and saw the stitches.. wow.. ha.. looks like thick black cRoss stitch ha... still got to go and Remove those stitches on monday moRning...

anyway, the swelling Reduced veRy fast lah.. it doesn't look like it's swelling now, except when i put the gauze inside my mouth to stop the blood lah..

shall stop heRe.. going to tRy and eat something... and dRink my blood as well..

aRgh..

oh yah..

happy 39th month deaR~