i'm tiRed...

even with only one student left, i'm too tiRed foR anything...

went foR blood donation the otheR day!! and i thought i was going to suffeR fRom fluid oveRdose... my blood pRessuRe was low and the doctoR asked me to dRink lots and lots of wateR... my stomach almost buRst k... lab manageR came oveR and asked me whetheR i was scaRed.. i went like.. eRm.. i have donated quite a numbeR of times... in fact, i was tRying to memoRise the stRing of numbeRs on the blood pack so that i may Recognise my own blood if i see the same numbeR in blood bank!

anyway, theRe has been quite a numbeR of new staff lately.. wheRe the majoRity aRe fRom a ceRtain countRy... now the whole lab seems to be taken oveR by them... i dun feel like i'm woRking in singapoRe but in a foReign land.. =x

i think i'm Really Really suay when i'm at the uRine bench independently foR the fiRst time and i had a CSF and a knee fluid coming togetheR.. that took up my whole day pRocessing those 2 specimens.. and i just take too long to Read each slide... afteRall, i'm validating my woRk.. i'm Releasing the Results to doctoRs who depend (ok, semi-depend?) on it to diagnose and tReat patients... i dun want to cause a wRong/ misdiagnosis!

that day i did a cRoss match foR a patient and anotheR full cRoss match foR anotheR patient when i was in blood bank.. then issued a pine of blood foR the patient.. was so scaRed k... what if the patient die afteR tRansfusing the blood I issued?! of couRse i was extRa caReful when doing the cRoss match, checking the micRoscope and scrutinizing any little signs of agglutination.. =x but Really, i think i enjoy doing blood bank the most.. =)

i'll be woRking moRe weiRd shift houRs next month onwaRds.. i heaRd i have a full day on satuRday and have to woRk on a public holiday... =( oh man.. i got this feeling i have to woRk on my biRthday and a full day on the sat... this is so sick!! sianz...

i'm sooo unlucky that duRing balloting foR leave pRioRity, i actually got 28 out of 32 ppl in the lab... aRgh... looks like it'll be difficult foR me to take leave next yeaR too... =(

no oveRseas tRip this yeaR.. leave is not appRoved...

anyway, i'm gonna dye back my haiR black and cut it the shoRtest eveR in my life...

annual scientific congRess this weekend, DND next fRiday...






DeaR Santa,

I haven't been exactly a veRy good giRl this yeaR.. but at least, i'm tRue to myself and the people aRound me.. i can't say the same bout the otheRs though.. when ppl who claim to be neutRal staRted siding with the otheR and leaving me out, then i see theiR tRue colouRs...

ny once told me i make fRiends without choosing.. now i finally undeRstand why he said that...

deaR santa, i have had an unhappy yeaR... being bullied and back stabbing by a peRson youngeR than me at woRk has added on to all the unhappiness.. and when ppl staRts showing off heR ang moh doctoR boyfRiend, i feel like spitting heR in the face. but i didn't.. i've toleRated as much as i could.. i took initiative and talked to heR.. apologized to heR.. dun blame me santa, when eveRything didn't quite as woRked, i decided to not caRe bout what she thinks of me anymoRe.. i'm now a much happieR peRson at woRk.. even though i'm pRetty much as lonely as eveR...

deaR santa, i would love to have that buRbeRRy blue label handbag my sis got fRom japan... oR a big stoRage thumb dRive.. oR a nice caR to dRive in... a long RetReat to japan/ koRea/ taiwan oR anywheRe out of singapoRe.. a nice paiR of heels that can last... claRin's 100 bucks foundation... oR a big comfoRt beaR.... oR many many otheR mateRial stuff that i'm cRaving foR...

but deaR deaRest santa, i will not be gReedy this yeaR...

DeaR Santa,

foR chRistmas this yeaR, all i ask foR is a fRiend...

a tRue fRiend whom i can talk to... a tRue fRiend who will shaRe my teaRs of joy.. a tRue fRiend who will stand by me and give me a listening eaR...

please santa, let me out of this loneR life...